dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
