This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
