Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
