you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
