It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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