no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
