"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i think i just lost a toe
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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