haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize