Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she smelled like a LAN party
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
