You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize