Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
