i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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