Apparently you make a good broom.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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