just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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