I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
