Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
