I smell stomach acid.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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