Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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