No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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