So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
