xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
