Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She even gives head with a lisp.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
