in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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