We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
