Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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