i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
