Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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