umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
