"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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