i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
