question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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