Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
