Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
