he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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