I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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