Is it normal to miss your booty call?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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