I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
