At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
