the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i think my mom watched the whole time
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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