Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
