I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Your mouth is God's brothel.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
