yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
