Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
