girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
