you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I intend to get homeless drunk
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
