Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize