eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Less talking, more tequila
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
