yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize