Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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