i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
