just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
