i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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