In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Also, beer. Big fan.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
