too bad you live with your parents still
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
