I have demons in me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
