Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
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