So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
