I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
