I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize